Eliminating "You"

Eliminating the word "you" when disciplining kids. I recently read an article suggesting removing the word "you." For example, changing "You spilled the milk, please clean it up" to "Please clean up the spilled milk." It has worked for us surprisingly well. This simple technique removes blame and focuses on the action needed. Hope that is helpful!

Snail Mail Catalogs

Does anyone else feel disheartened by the volume of shopping catalogs in your mail? The picture shows the number of catalogs we receive daily! It seems like I call and cancel one and two more show up from random companies. Any ideas how to better reduce this focus stealing and wasteful practice of being bombarded by catalogs?

Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours! I am grateful for so many blessings! While digesting dinner , consider this statement from the author Ryan Holiday, “we should also be grateful for ... the setbacks, for the squabbling habits of other people, for the stress they put on us and whatever other difficulties we might be experiencing. Why? Because we are only experiencing them because we are alive. Because they are a form of fuel for our philosophy. And as frustrating as they might be, it’s what Fortune chose for us and we might as well make the most of it.”

This thought process has brought me strength, I hope it does the same for you.

Glorious Fall Day

Watching the children play during yesterday’s glorious fall weather felt like a memory from my childhood with one obvious exception....the technology! Kids taking selfies, videoing stunts and a drone flying overhead.

Fumbling to take a picture, I missed the first jump into the “monster” leaf pile. Frustrated over losing the moment to technology, I chose to put my phone away. I observed the kids managing to enjoy playing while capturing hilarious images on their devices.

Do these technological advances add or taking away from the moment???

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Stephen & I pondered the question yesterday. For us, the answer lies somewhere along the cost-benefit spectrum of how disruptive we allow the technology to be versus our enjoyment of the footage. Trying to be mindful of where we are on this spectrum seems to hold some answers.

Mental Strength Can Be Taught

Mental strength can be taught. The techniques in this article are a great way to help our children "Own Their Focus"!

Trouble Getting the Kids to Listen?

If you have difficulty GETTING KIDS TO LISTEN, consider NOT SPEAKING.

"Talk less, listen more" has never been one of my strengths. This weekend I decided to test what happens if I didn't speak for a period of time. I wrote the family a note explaining that I was challenging myself to 4 hours without speaking. They thought it was funny and went about their morning. After an hour, the results were striking. Kids were pulling me around the house while telling me stories, creatively coming up with activities we could do without speaking, and our son actually begged me to talk...that was a first! When I wrote notes to the kids, they eagerly read them and followed my short written directions much more than my normal rambling words. If this is a problem you have, please try it. I would love to hear your results!

Reduce Fear of Failure

I'm finding this article helpful on my journey to overcome "fear of failure" in order to "Own My Focus". Hope you do as well! 

Make Failure Afraid of You!

My mother, a wonderful woman who has been a college professor for 48 years, would often say that her “fear of failure” would drive her to succeed. This same “fear of failure” pushed me most of my life to do “just enough”. It never inspired excellence in me, only anxiety. This anxiety stayed with me as I accomplished many goals; therefore, reinforcing the notion that “fear of failure” works.

On this uncharted journey to add value to others’ lives, the “fear of failure” stifles my creative process. Welcoming failure and learning from it is my new formula for success.

Boss Babes Talk

I’m excited to share “Own Your Focus” with a fabulous group of women this evening! Thank you WV Boss Babes for this opportunity to improve children’s self esteem through Focus!

Golden Girls Group Talk

Another great evening sharing the power of FOCUS to a wonderful group of kids at Golden Girls Group Home! Their stories and kind comments continue to drive our family’s passion.

Our Thoughts Become Things

Since first hearing these words from a woman whose focus changed the world, I have scrutinized the last line "WHAT WE THINK, WE BECOME."I've wondered is this true? If so, how do I stop from thinking negative thoughts? Isn't it true some negative thoughts can help prepare me for possible outcomes in a situation?According to scientist using fMRI technology, we very well may become what we think. The scans show neuronal pathways lighting up separate areas of the brain depending on if we are thinking about positive or negative thoughts. These thoughts then reinforce the neuronal pathways in that area of the brain.As for stopping negative thoughts, it turns out to be similar to breaking any other habit. It is a matter of stopping the negative thoughts as soon as they are noticed and purposely replacing with a positive thought; while each day setting a goal to get 1% better.Lastly, I do think that it is important to consider both positive and negative outcomes to be better prepared. For me the key has been to watch for the moment when my negative thoughts are no longer useful.

TESTING ON OUR CHILDREN:-)

We made a 'Family Goal List' and hung it in a prominent location. We all joined in and the girls got really creative! It was an easy & quick project. It was met with minimal resistance from the kids plus I've seen them referring to it a couple times. A business has stated goals...why not a family?

I'm also considering moving the sign’s location intermittently...shake it up a little:-). I appreciate the ideas and suggestions! Keep them coming! Thanks!

Mason County Schools Speech

We had the privilege of speaking at the Mason County Teen Institute on how to "Own Your Focus." Today was especially enjoyable because of the diverse age groups. I hope they learned as much from me as I did from them. Over 80 respectful and engaging kids...what a great experience!

I love this app! It is basically a file cabinet in my phone that I use for everything. One example ... each kids has their own file to store pictures of a special event, document a quote or take pictures of school work...a "digital baby book." Organizing life helps me own my focus :-)

What hacks help you "Own Your Focus"?